Forgiveness: 36 Years Worth

Happy Birthday to me!! I am so blessed to celebrate another year of life. As I celebrate my 37th year on this earth, I can’t help but look back on my first 36 years. My gift to myself is, RELEASE. I don’t often open up about my childhood, I especially never thought I would blog about it, because it was very painful. However, I have learned that in order to grow, you must look back, forgive, let go, and move forward.

I thought that I had let go of what happened to me a long time ago. I realized that I didn’t, because I had not forgiven those who did it to me. I don’t want to carry these pains anymore. Well, in my 36th year on this earth, I finally forgave the ones who robbed me of my childhood innocence.

I forgive the stranger who thought that a seven year old girl was a great target, and tried to rape her on her way home. I forgive my Godmother’s adult daughter for abusing me out of jealousy and putting scars on me that will make it hard to forget, because she could not stand how much her mom could love a little girl whom was not her own. I forgive my godmother’s husband who found it appropriate to sneak into the bed of a child and molest her. I forgive all the adults who knew what was happening, but did nothing but look at me with shame. I forgive the son of my mom’s best friend who tried to rape a 13 year old girl, whom had already been through so much already.

Most of all, I forgive my mom for never letting go of her abusive past, and taking it out on me, because I was born from rape, and looking at me was a constant reminder of that. I know that you love me mom, but the pain was so deep, that you couldn’t forget it. I know that pain, because I went through it too. I am sorry for the reminder that I was of that painful day in your life, when the man you trusted, broke that trust in the worst way. I am so glad that in my 36th year, we both found peace, and finally forged the relationship with each other, that we both deserve.

I know that some may think that this is dark for a birthday post, but this is my truth, and I wanted to RELEASE it all before I celebrated another year. Also, my spiritual counselor has told me for years that sharing my story may be a blessing to someone else who may be living their truth in silence as well.

So to all who know the truth, let’s celebrate letting go.

I am so thankful for the good childhood memories that has allowed me to remember that though we may go through times of struggles, there are reasons to smile and be grateful.

I am grateful for my sisters who gave me their blessings and pushed me to release, when I told them what I was going to write about. I am thankful to my dad, who stepped in and loved me as his own. He showed me the qualities of a great man and father. I am thankful for my husband and kids whom are a constant reminder of God’s love for me, and a reminder of what true unconditional love looks and feels like. I am so thankful for this gift of sewing that God has blessed me with, that has given me a place of peace to go to and Express myself creatively. I am thankful that this past year I was able to meet some wonderful people in the sewing community whom has strengthened my hope and belief in human goodness.

Me at 8 years old
My 9th birthday
My sisters and I Christmas 1991
My skinny self at the beach (9 years old)
I thought I was so fashionable as a teen 😂😂
I was always following my sister Simone around, she never knew it then, but I looked up to her. She was my hero.
My high school graduation
My beautiful and stylish mom in the 80s
Me at my senior prom
I was 19 in this photo
I was 21 in this pic
Me and my military battles
My mentor and my best friend
The love of my life on our wedding day.
The man who may not be my bio dad, but he stepped up and was the father I needed in my life. I will always be grateful to you Dad. I love you.
I love you mom. You sacrificed so much for us, and you loved us the best way you knew how.
Me and my daughter. My first born.
Me and my son, my little superhero.
I made it through so that I could be what I needed to be for them.

The few times I have shared me story, people always ask me the same question. “How did you make it through all of that. How do you smile so much after all you’ve been through.?” My answer is always the same. “God helped me through by placing the right people around me in the right season, and I am a strong willed individual, who will never let circumstances keep me from the life I desired.”

Today is my birthday you guys, and I am moving forward, and believing that my best life is ahead of me. This dress that I created for myself means a lot, because I created it with love, hard work, and determination. I chose blue not because it’s my favorite color, but also because it is known to be a peaceful and tranquil color. I am at peace in my life. My past will never be forgotten, but it has been forgiven.

I am a true virgo.
Thank you Lord for another year
These hands have created so much goodness, they should never be used to tear down nor destroy.
Happy Birthday lady!! Live, love, and laugh. You deserve it.
Turning my back on the past, my future is now my only concern

Thank you guys for sharing in this moment with me by reading my blog post. It was most personal and most difficult post, but I am so glad that I wrote it. I don’t know who you are, but someone was supposed to read it today. I pray it helps you in the way you need it most.

Misty Cami: Hack it My Way.

Hi everyone, I hope all is well with you. Today I am coming to you with the Misty Cami by Sew Altered Style.

When Sew Altered style approaches me about joining their Misty Cami Hack tour, I was excited. I have never made a cami before, and I love a good hack. I really appreciate a pattern company who embrace the idea of sewists using their patterns as a stepping stone to their ideal garment.

From Cami to Maxi

I will start off by admitting that I have not been the biggest pdf pattern fan. Printing all of those papers and taping them all together seemed so very tedious. However, I must say, it was not as bad as I thought. It took me about 30 minutes to tape all of the paper together. There was a total of 64 pages.

I knew right after I saw the pattern pieces that I wanted to create a maxi dress, I mean, it is a summer staple. I used view A. I wanted the dress to be fun, feminine, and bright, hence my fabric choice. I used a yellow cotton eyelet that I purchased a while back from Jo-Anns before I was even asked to do this project, talk about fate huh.

I always drape my fabric in my dress form when I bring it home.

To turn the cami I to a maxi dress, I did not have to make many alterations. I just added 10″ to the length of the dress pattern, added a casing to the inside of the dress, and created a double elastic waist just below the bustline. I also liked the fabric rather than do facings as the instructions suggested. Considering the material I used, lining was the best choice.

I did not have to make any fit adjustments, which made me a very happy girl. The size suggestions in the pattern was true to size. Great job on that ladies. Overall, I am very pleased with the pattern, sizing, and hackability. I am definitely creating this pattern over and over again.


I had to throw in the turquoise converses 💙💙

Thank you guys so very much for taking the time to read my blog post. Go out and support Sew Altered Style, and get this pattern, you will be so very happy to did. Until next time you guys, make what you want to make.

GOLDEN VELVET

Hi everyone! I hope all is well with you. I am all smiles right now because it is fall 🍁, and it is my favorite time of year. I love watching the leaves change from green to reds and oranges. I love decorating the outside and inside of my home with pumpkins and fall decors, but most of all, I look forward to fall because I get to pull out all of my velvet clothing and make new ones for this year. Today I am going to share my new me made outfit with you, as well as include a few photos of my favorite velvet garments that I have created so far, so keep on reading.

For my first look, I used two different patterns to create a full outfit. The first pattern that I used to make my top is the new fall pattern from McCalls Pattern company, M7836. For my pants, I used Simplicity 1283 by Mimi G.

My Review

Fabric Used: I used a gold metallic velvet fabric from Promenade Fabrics.

Were the instructions easy to follow? The instructions were very easy to follow. Both pieces were easy to make as well, I finished both in under an hour (not including cutting the pattern pieces).

Pattern alterations or any design changes you made: I did not make any alterations nor modifications, it was perfect as is.

Would you sew it again? Would you recommend it to others? I would definitely use both patterns again. I have already used Simplicity 1283 to make several pants.

Conclusion: I love both patterns, and I am very happy with the outcome. What I love most is that I was able to use two patterns to create a beautiful and luxurious outfit that I can also wear separately with different garments.

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I absolutely love velvet, it’s soft, warm, and beautiful to look at. I have already created a few velvet pieces this season. Please continue scrolling to see my favorite velvet garments that I created. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read my blog, I truly appreciate it.

“Dare to love yourself
as if you were a rainbow
with gold at both ends.

Author: Poet Aberjhani

Mommy Makes It

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Hi everyone!! I hope all is well with you. It has been a while since I created a blog post, but life has been so busy with work, life, and everything in between. If you all have been following my blog long, you know that my daughter is the reason that I started sewing. She loves fashion, but I am very careful that she expresses herself with fashion while still looking age appropriate. One of my favorite things to do is sew mommy and me looks for my her and I, and sometimes, my son gets in on the fun. I truly treasure these moments, because I know that one day, they will grow up, and may not want to dress alike any more, at least I know for a fact that my son will not. However, as of right now, they love when I make their clothes. When asked by others where they got their clothing, they would proudly say, “my mommy makes it.” Seeing them so proud to wear what I make in a time when so many are label driven, makes me feel wonderful and accomplished.

For this mommy and me look, I used New Look 6487 for my daughter’s dress, but I did a few modifications such as adding a zipper to the front instead of buttons, and adding ruffles to the bottom to make it a bit more unique to her taste.

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I created a few pieces for myself out of the fabric that I used. The first thing that I created is a spring jacket using M7730 view A from McCalls Pattern Company. I did not make any modifications with this look, because it is one of those patterns that is beautiful just the way it is. I also made shorts using M6930 view A. I have made these shorts a few times. I also made a ruffle shorts DIY with this pattern. I have a tutorial up on my YouTube channel. I also have a sleeve tutorial on M7730 on my channel as well.

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People always tell parents to enjoy their kids, because the days are long, but the years are short. I must agree, because my little girl whom I was just holding in my arms feeding what seems like yesterday, just turned ten and I find myself wondering where the years went. My son will be taller than me by his tenth birthday, and I have been investing in more heels for this occasion. I feel blessed to watch them grow, and I pray for the world that they are growing up in everyday. However, I will continue to enjoy everyday, and hope that they remain long, and I will take more opportunities to share many more mommy and me moments with them while I can. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, I hope you all have a blessed and joyful day.

continue scrolling down for more photos. I also added a photo of our me made looks that I created for Mother’s Day at the end.

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MOTHER’S DAY EXTRA

For Mother’s Day, I created a shirt for my sun using Simplicity S8180 view A, I modified S1453 view A and turned it into a peplum top for my daughter. I also modified Megan Nielsen’s Matilda Dress pattern and turned the bodice into a cropped spring jacket for myself. I will be doing a YouTube tutorial on this at a later date, so subscribe to my channel to stay on top of new uploads.

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Until Next Time New York

As I aimlessly stare out the car window on the last three hours of our drive home from New York, I can’t help but to feel blessed beyond measure. 

Every year for the last three years after my husband’s parents moved back to New York with his sister and her family, we have made it a point to visit them in the summer. This visit was a bit different emotionally. After nine years of marriage, I felt like my in-laws and I truly bonded. I don’t know if it was due to all the excitement over my niece’s high school graduation or having their only son back with them, but the sense of family, love, and good times filled the atmosphere. I must admit that it made me a little emotional.

Let me give you a little insight into my relationship with my in-laws. Our inability to fully connect has nothing to do with dislikes, family issues, nor any of the obvious in-law reasonings.  It all boils down to one word, CULTURE. You see, my in-laws are from Haiti, and I am Jamaican-American. There is a huge language barrier that stands between us like a force field. My mother and father-in-law both speak English, but not comfortable. Whenever we would have get togethers, I would end up sitting with the kids because they were the only ones that I could communicate with effectively. 

From the time that we got there to the time that we left, I noticed them trying harder to connect with me, which made me open up more. I even watched YouTube videos on basic Creole so that I could make an effort to better communicate with my husband’s family, and it seemed to have worked, because we laughed, danced, talked, and floated on the wings of togetherness, and it was amazing. I also didn’t have to sit at the kid’s table. 

My plan when I get home is to get better at speaking their language by next summer’s visit so that we can get even closer, and talk about things that were unspoken because of our cultural and language difference. 

My in-laws and family on my hubby’s side.

My niece the high school graduate. We a so very proud of her.

Wearing: black denims from Macy’s, a blue tank from forever 21, and a printed kimono that I made using
Simplicity 1108

Good News: Changing your focus can change your perspective. 

​Today I want to share my good news. I woke up this morning to my husband and two children. I was able to prepare them for their day and send them off with a good breakfast. Before they left, their last words to me was, “I love you.” I am a seamstress, and not only do I sew for others, but that gift has also allowed me to uplift others by reminding them that they are beautiful and custom made by God, which means that no mistakes were made in their creation. 

One of my clients wearing the dress I designed for prom.

Another client in another of my designs with her prom date.

I also serve in the children’s ministry at my church, which means that I have a great opportunity to reach children starting at a young age and share God’s words with them, and watch them grow into it.

My son and other kids writing their name on the concrete of what’s going to be the new children’s area at my church.

The children taking part in an activity on stage in our kid’s ministry large group area.

I have witnessed such joy and excitement in their eyes when they remember their memory verse, and a whole room of people are there cheering them on and encouraging them 😍😍🤗🤗🤗🎈🎉. I get to witness how their faces light up when they see their small group leader and student helper walk into their classroom, because they know that those people have invested their time to love on them and show them God’s love. I have been blessed to see how much my children have grown because of people who have invested in them. My daughter made the decision to get baptized almost two years ago, and that moment will forever be a strong reminder of what God’s love can do. Now, my son is asking about baptism, and we are so proud to explain what that decision means and look forward to taking him to the next splash class at church so that he can get an even deeper understanding.

My daughter at her baptism

You see, my good news is that I get to be a WITNESS 🤗🤗🤗. I have seen kindness in unexpected places. During my time in Iraq, I have seen people whom were supposed to be at war with each other form friendships and give to those they were meant to despise. I have seen people who have so little give more than many with lots to give.  When we only focus on the bad things, we can miss out on witnessing some pretty awesome moments that God has created. Yes, there are horrible things going on all over the world, but to witness such beautiful moments and be a cause of some of those moments, that is the best news. Let’s try to not only find light in darkness, but let’s also be that light as well.
Please share your good news below so that myself and others can cheer for you.
#witness #goodnews

Getting ready for urban ops training with my battle buddies

This is the condition I often worked in, because I was in supply and worked outside in the supply yard while stationed in Iraq. We called it “Red Dawn.”

This is how my work day often ended while overseas

Thank you all for reading my blog and getting to know me a little bit more. Have a wonderful day.